Faith Works 9-21-19

Faith Works 9-21-19

Jeff Gill

 

What we've lost, what we've gained

___

 

Sometimes when I start writing one of these I end up with a piece that simply doesn't fit into the usual newspaper column space.

 

I can try to carve it into pieces that do work in this context, trim it back to a more workable length, or just repurpose it for another setting.

 

This reflection is an attempt to have my cake and eat it, too; a highlight reel of a series of thoughts I've had as I look ahead, for my own congregation where I attend and worship, for Christian church groups in general, and I believe for people of faith or seekers who want to come together under whatever banner. I'm likely to write more about these individual items in time, but overall, these are subjects which I see as helping us understand what's going on with what's often mockingly called "organized religion." The phrase "spiritual but not religious" has a scholarship all its own, but while I honor the intention behind such beliefs, I would not be a parish minister if I didn't think that having a religious affiliation has a certain value of its own.

 

The logo or nameplate or even to some degree the doctrine may not matter quite as much as simply prioritizing working together with others, versus the individual, private pursuit of spiritual understanding. If for you only the personal and private sense of faith is important, what follows will not seem of any consequence, I'm sure.

 

When it comes to church life, we've lost a number of things that I believe we had come to take for granted, which is why we might be a bit myopic about how much we're losing. Membership, for starters. People today do not "like" membership in organizations. Not that long ago becoming a member meant you were becoming something; ditto even smaller commitments like newspaper subscriptions or buying series tickets.

 

And while you might say "well, season tickets are still popular" the news from Columbus, as well as NFL stadiums and MLB ballparks is that they are not. Which takes us from membership to attendance. "Perfect attendance" used to be a very big thing, and now it's actually seen as somewhat unhealthy (don't come to work or school or church when you're sick, okay?). But in general, consistent attendance is simply less valued.

 

Marriage is no longer a central social norm. I could preach or plead or rant, but I'm just observing right now. Expansion of marriage laws aside, the institution is delayed, deferred, and often just plain avoided entirely. Divorce is down, but much of that is because the wedding never took place in the first case.

 

As I've written about previously, I don't think church losses around young adults are due as much to changes in church life as much as what we haven't adapted to: our historic pattern is that young adults would often step away from church for a while, in high school or college, but return to get married and as they started a family. The gap of absence was a couple of years. Now, with average age of first marriages creeping up towards 30, and children later, too, the gap is so wide as to be a chasm.

 

Plus, church weddings are increasingly… unusual. Even churched folk are overwhelmingly choosing non-church locations when they do marry, and many venues require you use their officiant. Another place to reconnect, cut off.

 

Likewise with funerals, a social location where often those who had walked away from faith and church might reconnect, and even re-enter. You may have noticed, and I surely have, that "no services will be held" is more common; what's hard for me is when I know the deceased wanted a funeral, but the surviving adult relatives are all unchurched and say no. And non-traditional locations and settings for "farewells" or "celebrations of life" are increasingly popular, with funeral homes adapting to this demand; the acceptance of cremation making all kinds of options possible that didn't exist before, and most of them don't require a church or clergymember.

 

You can easily imagine how I could write a column on each of those four shifts; singing, reading, summer schedules, sacred spaces, Sundays themselves could all represent additional elements of what we've lost. But my thinking is not entirely mournful, and I'd like to just leave these thoughts as placeholders, and turn next towards what we've gained, and how both sets of shifts tell us something about the future we're making for faith, and for church.

 

Jeff Gill is a writer, storyteller, and pastor in Licking County; he likes to take the long view sometimes, which means when he says "new" it might mean 100 years old. Tell him about shifts you've noticed in church life at knapsack77@gmail.com, or follow @Knapsack on Twitter.