Notes from my Knapsack 8-17-23
Jeff Gill
Things to think about now, not later
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Back in May I invited readers to think about the ways we used to care for elderly and ailing family members, before hospitals and nursing homes and assisted living became common solutions to what used to be less common dilemmas.
You've probably picked up over time on the fact that I've spent the last three years spending increasing amounts of time on doing home care. The details don't matter, just that I've ended up making some pretty major life changes (occupationally, personally) to adjust to the needs of aging relatives, and I know from many, many conversations this is a quietly common situation.
To all the many "have you considered" suggestions, I can only say you can only imagine. Which is why I wanted to put this "out there" in the platform this paper allows me:
If you are any age past about 25, it is not too soon to start thinking strategically about 3 categories:
a) Your own retirement living plans & financing,
b) How to deal with same for elderly relatives you can talk to about this, &
c) What to do with those who can't/won't discuss it.
Let's start with b) because it's the easy one. Mostly. If you have a parent or grandparent or other relation to whom you're close, and they are willing to talk about aging and care, they probably already have. God bless those who have sat down adult children and told them "here's my plan, here's what I have put where to do that, and here's how I see this working - what do you think?" May their tribe increase. And their numbers are, alas, too few.
I'll admit a) isn't exactly easy. Especially if you're younger. Save for retirement? Think about long term care coverage? Start sorting your accumulated accumulations now? What kind of a grumpy old man are you?
I'm that kind. Especially now. All sorts of things that are difficult or inconvenient at 35 are dang near impossible at 55. Trust me, financial advisors dread those conversations, when a person is pushing 60 and says "I have no savings other than Social Security, so what do I need to do now to retire?" At 62 or 65 or 67 for most of us moving forward, if you have zippity doo dah set aside, it's gonna be hard. Not impossible, but very hard. If you're 35, it's still possible; 45, doable; 55, feel the pain but see the goal.
Okay, finally c). These are hardest of all. The only thing I can offer is this: if you have an older family member whose situation you know you'll get called about if there's a medical emergency, and they aren't ready for needing care or support, and resist any conversation at all about it, you need to build a team. For YOU. You will need a team to make this work, whatever the end game is. Other family, friends, even co-workers, but if the relation won't talk, it's okay to talk about them, especially when you see mobility lessen and needs increasing.
Brainstorm, scenario out options, figure out what is doable. It may not be fun now, but it's so much harder when it's a tomorrow deadline, coming while you're standing in a hospital waiting room or funeral home lobby, asking each other "how will we take care of them?"
Jeff Gill is a writer, storyteller, and preacher in central Ohio; his sister has her hands full with our mom, too. Tell him about solutions to tricky problems you've found at knapsack77@gmail.com, or follow @Knapsack on Twitter.
Monday, August 07, 2023
Faith Works 8-11-23
Faith Works 8-11-23
Jeff Gill
Nothing so invisible as what we don't see
___
In talking about lessons we might learn about race and racism from history, I've been spending a great deal of time one hundred years ago, in 1923, with the Ku Klux Klan as that organization steadily took over Licking County, and much of the Midwest.
To answer in part why this context is still important in 2023, I need to jump back even farther, 250 years ago in fact, to 1773.
History is in large part the study of the records of a period, and so for Licking County, our pre-history is deep and complex with artifacts and earthworks, but our written history begins in 1751.
Christopher Gist, friend and associate of George Washington, passed through the Ohio Country in 1750 and 1751: crucially, he left a journal. His party spends Christmas and New Year's Eve of 1750 in Coshocton, and he gives us our earliest written account of the legendary "White Woman" from which the main street of Roscoe Village and other sites along Walhonding Creek get their name.
Mary Harris was a child captive born in Deerfield, Massachusetts in 1696, seized in a 1704 French raid, and by 1750 a matriarch married to a Lenape, or Delaware man, and leader of a village along the Muskingum. She remembers dimly so-called civilization in New England, but says to Gist "she still remembers they used to be very religious in New England, and wonders how the White Men can be so wicked as she has seen them in these woods."
That was recorded on January 15, 1751; on the 16th and 17th Gist's party passes through today's Licking County, but he records salt licks and streams, nothing about people, on his way to the "great swamp" which they pass around on their way to Hockhocking, what we call Rock Mill today near Lancaster.
In essence, history as a written account begins for Licking County in 1751. A generation later, in 1773, we get history with characters to populate the scene. On Feb. 10, 1773, Rev. David Jones passes through going the opposite direction, from Standing Stone on his way to Newcomerstown. From the Hockhocking area up to what he calls "Salt Lick Creek," or the Raccoon Fork of the Licking River drainage, he notes "there were no inhabitants…" until they reach their destination. Jones goes on to tell us "Before night, came to the designed town, called Dan. Elleot's wife's; a man of that name was said to have here a squaa for his pretended wife. This is a small town consisting of Delawares and Shawannees. The chief is a Shawannee woman, who is esteemed very rich — she entertains travellers — there were four of us in company, and for our use, her negro quarter was evacuated this night, which had a fire in the middle without any chimney.* [Remember that asterisk.] This woman has a large flock, and supplied us with milk. Here also we got corn for our horses at a very expensive price."
Jones closes his "Licking County" sojourn by saying "The country here appeared calculated for health, fertile and beautiful." And in fact, there's good reason to believe it's Chaplain Jones who routes the earliest settlers of Licking County to this area, from Bowling Green to the Welsh Hills. He and those settlers are the dawn of most historical accounts of our area, after a passing nod to thousands of years of Native American residence and activity.
But note the dual historical significance of the asterisked note on the page: "* This woman has several negroes who were taken from Virginia in time of last war, and now esteemed as her property."
Do you see them now? I hope to sharpen the focus for us next week.
Jeff Gill is a writer, storyteller, and preacher in central Ohio; he knows it's a struggle sometimes to see what's in front of your face. Tell him what you've come to see at knapsack77@gmail.com, or follow @Knapsack on Twitter.
Jeff Gill
Nothing so invisible as what we don't see
___
In talking about lessons we might learn about race and racism from history, I've been spending a great deal of time one hundred years ago, in 1923, with the Ku Klux Klan as that organization steadily took over Licking County, and much of the Midwest.
To answer in part why this context is still important in 2023, I need to jump back even farther, 250 years ago in fact, to 1773.
History is in large part the study of the records of a period, and so for Licking County, our pre-history is deep and complex with artifacts and earthworks, but our written history begins in 1751.
Christopher Gist, friend and associate of George Washington, passed through the Ohio Country in 1750 and 1751: crucially, he left a journal. His party spends Christmas and New Year's Eve of 1750 in Coshocton, and he gives us our earliest written account of the legendary "White Woman" from which the main street of Roscoe Village and other sites along Walhonding Creek get their name.
Mary Harris was a child captive born in Deerfield, Massachusetts in 1696, seized in a 1704 French raid, and by 1750 a matriarch married to a Lenape, or Delaware man, and leader of a village along the Muskingum. She remembers dimly so-called civilization in New England, but says to Gist "she still remembers they used to be very religious in New England, and wonders how the White Men can be so wicked as she has seen them in these woods."
That was recorded on January 15, 1751; on the 16th and 17th Gist's party passes through today's Licking County, but he records salt licks and streams, nothing about people, on his way to the "great swamp" which they pass around on their way to Hockhocking, what we call Rock Mill today near Lancaster.
In essence, history as a written account begins for Licking County in 1751. A generation later, in 1773, we get history with characters to populate the scene. On Feb. 10, 1773, Rev. David Jones passes through going the opposite direction, from Standing Stone on his way to Newcomerstown. From the Hockhocking area up to what he calls "Salt Lick Creek," or the Raccoon Fork of the Licking River drainage, he notes "there were no inhabitants…" until they reach their destination. Jones goes on to tell us "Before night, came to the designed town, called Dan. Elleot's wife's; a man of that name was said to have here a squaa for his pretended wife. This is a small town consisting of Delawares and Shawannees. The chief is a Shawannee woman, who is esteemed very rich — she entertains travellers — there were four of us in company, and for our use, her negro quarter was evacuated this night, which had a fire in the middle without any chimney.* [Remember that asterisk.] This woman has a large flock, and supplied us with milk. Here also we got corn for our horses at a very expensive price."
Jones closes his "Licking County" sojourn by saying "The country here appeared calculated for health, fertile and beautiful." And in fact, there's good reason to believe it's Chaplain Jones who routes the earliest settlers of Licking County to this area, from Bowling Green to the Welsh Hills. He and those settlers are the dawn of most historical accounts of our area, after a passing nod to thousands of years of Native American residence and activity.
But note the dual historical significance of the asterisked note on the page: "* This woman has several negroes who were taken from Virginia in time of last war, and now esteemed as her property."
Do you see them now? I hope to sharpen the focus for us next week.
Jeff Gill is a writer, storyteller, and preacher in central Ohio; he knows it's a struggle sometimes to see what's in front of your face. Tell him what you've come to see at knapsack77@gmail.com, or follow @Knapsack on Twitter.
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