Faith Works 9-22-18
Jeff Gill
Seeking community, and a seat
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Church community is a form of gathering we're all familiar with.
It has quirks and customs and rules all its own. One of the best known and still problematic constants is that a church where all are welcome, where sharing of ourselves is a byword, where everyone is accepted at the communion table, can still be a place where visitors hear "why are you in my pew?"
They might give you the shirt off their back without even knowing your story, but in most churches the whole "can I sit here?" question is still a problem.
My friends in more contemporary style, non-traditional churches laugh, grimly, at how they have no pews, a very different seating layout, and a relaxed approach to everything from clothing to order of worship . . . but people still have trouble not looking oddly at people who have chosen to sit where they shouldn't.
Where and how we choose to be together, yet still define our own space, is a challenge in a variety of locations. Nobody likes to be crowded together. Seating in restaurants or theaters or grandstands for sporting events has an etiquette all its own . . . and those who don't follow it. There are plenty of situations where some people have "my table" or "the seat by the aisle" and are not happy when they're asked to move or come and find someone in their place.
As religious communities, traditional or contemporary, non-denominational or with a big logo on the door, we would like to think our approach to such things could be different than "the world" but the world has a way of worming and weaseling into the church.
I think this is getting more interesting and maybe even more relaxed as many of us are seeing something long noted in larger cities and other parts of the country. Attendance is "dropping," but not from members leaving, just that they're in church less often. The biggest reason for this is an increase across the board of travel, both for work and for leisure. The cost of airfare and the everyday assumption that hopping on a flight to somewhere is a normal thing means that more people are "away" for stretches, more often within a year.
Growing up, we drove to grandma's house. If we weren't at grandma's (and in her church) we were in church. Now, grandma is taking trips: into her 90s! So one of the most consistent demographics of church life is also more often on the move. Assistive technology (portable oxygen tanks, more wheelchair access everywhere) means people can travel who didn't used to, and they do.
This is not the place for a "remember when" piece about how people used to put on a tie or a dress and pearls to fly on an airline, and you got a meal, with silverware. But everyone knows those days are gone, and can't hardly even be found in first class. Cheap, wedged-in, mass experience air travel means sweatpants and flip flops, and that's a chicken-egg question we could debate all day. But everyone is traveling more than they used to.
Which means if you have 200 people a Sunday in church, and suddenly your regulars just go from four Sundays a month to three, without anyone moving or changing their membership at all, you have 150 a Sunday. And the stewardship chair would like me to remind everyone that people who give tend to give when they attend, so a 25% drop in worship attendance has the potential to decrease giving to the general fund by as much as 25%.
It does free up seating in the sanctuary, though. And if someone has been gone for three weeks, let alone three months, they can't fuss as much when they return and find a new face in their place.
Outside of the church walls, something I continue to find fascinating is how people on the road seek community, even as we travel sometimes to escape it. We look for the familiar, maybe a chain restaurant, a motel name we know, or a church of our own tradition, and get a place to be anchored again in what we're used to.
And as a visitor, nervously edge our way into a seat, then glance up and see that familiar "look" from someone coming in behind us.
We're in their seat.
Jeff Gill is a writer, storyteller, and pastor in Licking County; he hopes people learn about community on the road in ways they can bring home to build stronger community here! Tell him about where you've felt included and excluded at knapsack77@gmail.com, or follow @Knapsack on Twitter.
